For decades I’ve walked around with the dreams of a conglomerate floating around in my head . Just waiting…, waiting for alignment, waiting for advancement, waiting for a sign. Just waiting… Now here I am approaching my middle thirties with nothing to show for the dreams I mapped out so perfectly in my head but never executed. I know what people will say… dreams take time, you’re not behind, failures are redirections. The truth is though, that when I strip away the excuses, it’s procrastination, fear , and a little laziness that has kept me from really doing what I know I’m truly capable of.
Now, I’m not taking anything away from myself. I didn’t come up in an ultra-wealthy family that left an estate for me to grow up cushy on. But, I am the lineage of a man who defied all the odds of his time and did what he had to do to raise 8 children without complaint. A serviceman who gained a unique skillset and utilized that skill day in and day out to ensure his family always had what they needed. Coming from that, I always knew I was capable of anything… and the only thing that ever stopped me from achieving what I want was myself.
As time goes on and I gain wisdom, I’ve had an epiphany. It doesn’t really matter how perfectly you “do” life or how closely you follow the law of the land… life is about chance and alignment. You’ll never receive more than you allow yourself to be ready for. That’s why people who stay in dead end jobs, stay in them forever. They never seek anything more than the check that obliges their current needs. They never pursue the education required to achieve what they truly desire. & sadly, some just don’t believe they can do anything that’ll advance them beyond the bare minimum work that they are required to do to sustain their current lives.
It’s not something to be ashamed of… for African Americans like myself, it’s merely a feature of an unjust system. For hundreds of years, we’ve burned ourselves out being the best of the best in industries that built their riches on our expertise, but kept the compensation for themselves. We see it in the record contracts artists are coerced into signing at the inception of their careers. We see it in the athletes who sign their vitality away to decades old organizations before even beginning their second decade on Earth. We see it in the inventors and the scientists of history whose work was stolen and exploited. We see it, but we’ve taught ourselves that being a part of the system is better than the bloodshed and work that comes with creating a better one.
Much like in my own personal life, I find myself wondering how long we’ll wait. Will another generation go by where we haven’t grown beyond the economical and political circumstances that so deeply affect our lives on a daily? What does the future world look like for our children? Will they still have the bare minimum of free agency and opportunity that we have? We often forget just how close we are to the generations whose lives weren’t their own. In the “good ole days” and even now, slave labor props up the ultra wealthy. A system of underpayment, exploitation, and negligence boasts up multiple industries that pride themselves on morality.
Now that I’ve opened up my eyes to a different perspective in life (see my Awakening Era series), I’m realizing that community is and has always been where our strength lies and the solution to our deepest issues. Thus, why our society is so hellbent on keeping us all divided. In history, long before capitalism and Wall Street, people bartered and traded skills & goods without tender or conflict. The local egg farmer traded with the milkmaid and communities built trust with providers of the skills they desired directly. As capitalism progressed, we lost the true essence of that business relationship. Now, customers are just a number in a system, employees are just a cog in the machine, and the top executives are rapacious plutocrats loaded with riches. “The secret of freedom lies in educating people, whereas the secret of tyranny is in keeping them ignorant.” – Maximilien de Robespierre
In my own life, and in our society, the wake up call has passed. We know the systems of this society are not fruitful for anyone anymore. Personally, my adjustment starts with my career and trusting myself to do what I have to do to succeed. It means sticking to projects until the end, building community directly, and truly putting myself out there. Things I’ve struggled with in my human experience because of how protective I am of my essence. Ultimately though, our essence is our power. As much as we want to keep our essence locked away safely for ourselves, life really starts getting good when you stop being afraid of the world seeing you for who you truly are.
Queendom Entertainment 